Living a Simple Life with a Back Porch View

The Unwritten Chapter

Julie @ The Farm Wife Season 4 Episode 145

A new year is so much like writing a new book. January 1st gets the exciting title of Chapter One. Our goals are the initial ideas and the outline. But just like writing a book, there are some goals, dreams, or aspirations that won’t survive the editing process. 

Whether it’s due to time, resources, or changing priorities, we all have those ‘unwritten chapters’ in our lives. In this episode, we’ll explore how to accept these chapters with grace, find peace with the life we’ve chosen, and embrace the joys and fullness of our current journey. 

 

Send us a text

Support the show

The Farm Wife (website)

Let's Visit! (email)

Amazon Shop Page

Great Products by The Farm Wife:

The Simple Life Workbook
Simple Life Home Finance Bundle
The Art of Homemaking

Find other helpful Simple Life Products in
The Farm Wife Shop

Do you want to learn more about living a simple life? Then a great place to start is with the books in my Simple Life Series!

Living a Simple Life on the Farm (my story)

The Search for a Simple Life

How to Cook a Possum: Yesterday’s Skills & Frugal Tips for a Simple Life (don’t worry – this isn’t a cookbook!)

Faith & a Simple Life

Episode 145 - The Unwritten Chapter

As a writer, one of the most exhilarating things to do is start a new book. I love the feel of a brand-new notebook filled with crisp, clean pages just ready for the touch of my pen. Ideas swirl in my head like contestants on a game show, each one begging to be chosen. 

Before I write the first word, I create an outline, jot down all the ideas, and put some semblance of order to what I want to say. And then I start writing – Chapter One. 

A new year is so much like writing a new book. January 1st gets the exciting title of Chapter One. Our goals are the initial ideas and the outline. But just like writing a book, there are some goals, dreams, or aspirations that won’t survive the editing process. Whether it’s due to time, resources, or changing priorities, we all have those ‘unwritten chapters’ in our lives. In this episode, we’ll explore how to accept these chapters with grace, find peace with the life we’ve chosen, and embrace the joys and fullness of our current journey. 

Some of the foundational aspects of living a simple life is the ability to slow down, find time to rest during the busyness of our days, and be able to focus on what’s most important to us. However, society often glorifies busyness, and you often see articles on how to achieve every single item on our bucket list. But the reality of this mindset is unrealistic and can be exhausting. 

And I learned that the hard way. When we first moved to the farm, I literally had a five-page, single-spaced outline of everything I wanted to accomplish. This farm was going to be a showplace and move us as closely as possible to 100% self-sufficiency. I could just see the end results in my mind, so I set out trying to achieve that dream. 

15-hour days, a checkbook that spent most of its time throwing hysterical hissy fits, space limitations, and to be honest, you can toss a lack of skills into the mix, that five-page dream was unreadable through the dirt smudges, tear stains and tears in the paper from scratching lines through some of the dreams. My mind, body, and spirit were just as ragged, and I was dangerously close to being a pile of ashes resulting from the burnout. 

In the middle of one of the most frustrating and heart-breaking days since moving to the farm, I sat down to the first of what would eventually turn into my Afternoon Tea ritual. I sat in my swing, cried my eyes out, and threw my own hissy fit.  When the rantings and ravings were over and the tears dried up, I finally came to the realization that my five-page goal list was about as unrealistic as trying to walk to the moon. 

But I didn’t toss out my goals. Instead, I grabbed a pen and a clean notebook and began to look at my life in a more realistic manner. The truth is, I wanted my farm to be successful, but I had to determine what ‘success’ meant to me – not what the books, magazines, internet articles, and other small farmers thought it meant.

And I have been successful. However, my definition of success comes from living with intention, choosing what is truly important, and letting go of some of the dreams I had in order to make room for the ones which were more realistic, and fit better with my priorities. 

Now, if you want me to, I can create a checklist of everything you ‘should’ do to have a successful life of your own. But the problem with that is, real life isn’t about checking boxes off of a list. Instead, it’s about creating meaningful moments and having a contented fulfilling life. It’s about being able to pivot at the last minute; it’s about letting go in order to make room for the dreams you have; and it’s about embracing the joys and little things you already have, instead of always searching for the next best thing. 

No matter who you are, your life is going to be filled with changes. You go from being a child playing with toys, to a young adult searching for your first big job. You go from being single, to being married with children. Aging, health issues, career shifts, relocating are all changes you will face. But there are smaller changes, such as dreams, beliefs, and perspectives that will shift with time. You can’t account for these on a checklist. And besides, a checklist doesn’t leave room for the small joys or big successes that you never planned for. 

And if you really need an editor to deal with that unwritten chapter - because let’s face it: editing your life, your dreams, your goals can be difficult - let me be your editor and send at least one chapter through the shredder. I know it’s difficult, but it really is okay to let go of the dreams you have that no longer fit with who you have become or will move you forward in the direction you want your journey to take you. 

One of the jobs of an editor is to read what is written and look at the story as a whole. If a sentence, paragraph or scene truly matters and moves the story forward, it gets to stay. If it doesn’t, the RED X gets applied, and that portion is cut. 

In your Book of Life, it helps you to know what truly matters. Knowing what is truly important to you will help the journey you’re on go a bit more smoothly. Yes, you will face potholes, detours, and crossroads, but knowing your destination will help you to make decisions on how to work around those.

But how do you identify what truly matters? Let me give you a little homework. Have you already made a list of goals for the year? Then grab that list – you’ll need it in a minute. Now get a clean sheet of paper and write down your top five values or priorities. For me, mine are faith, family, home, community and my passions. Now, these are pretty broad categories, and yours might be as well, but that’s okay. For now, you just need to know what they are. 

Now that you have them listed, compare them to that list of goals you made. How many of your goals actually align with your values or priorities? Do they fit comfortably together? Is it a ‘no-brainer’ that your goal of growing a garden and learning how to bake bread will easily fit within your priority of home? Then put a big checkmark next to that goal.

But if you have a goal of, let’s say, robbing a bank and escaping alone to a deserted island, but you have a priority of faith and family with three kids at home, well, that goal is going to be a little more difficult to align with that priority. If these were my lists, I’d have to scratch that goal off. 

The bottom line is to know what your priorities and values are first – and then set goals which align with them. It will make it much easier to fulfill those goals, and still be able to be content not only with your choices, but with the overall journey itself. 

Still, letting go of some dreams can be difficult, if not painful. For me, I still wish I could raise wool sheep, which would go hand-in-hand with my passion for spinning, weaving, and other fiber arts. But living in the hot, humid, south, I know it would be cruel to raise Delaine Merino sheep. Plus, with only 60 acres, and part of it filled with buildings, ponds, and wooded areas, there wouldn’t be enough room for a decent sized flock. 

Instead, I count the loss of the dream of raising sheep as an opportunity for  having more time, money and energy to step closer to fulfilling other dreams, which include having a dairy cow, more room for gardens, and more time to write. 

And that brings us to another point. Every goal you have on your list will take time to accomplish. It takes focus, dedication, and an investment of time, money, and energy to see it through. When you allow yourself to let go of dreams and goals that don’t fit with your priorities and values, you free up those resources in order to focus on what truly matters. 

Now that you have readjusted your goals to fit with your priorities and values, you can begin to break down each goal into action steps. It may also help you to create a priority map, which is a tool you can use to help identify where to direct your time, energy and focus. It’s also a great idea to practice stopping along the way, see if you are staying on track, and do a bit of editing, if necessary. I call this practice my Simple Life Assessment, and we’ll be talking more about that in an upcoming episode.

I have another homework assignment for you. Take some time this week to settle in for an Afternoon Tea. Imagine your life as a book and write a summary of the next chapter. Focus on what you will achieve, how the experiences will affect the way you might write the next chapter, and what moments you may embrace and enjoy the most. 

While I’m writing, sometimes a certain sentence, scene, or character reaction will lead me to write something I never expected to happen in the story. But once the words are on paper, I can see how they just fit perfectly. When you’re writing your chapter, be sure to leave plenty of room for unexpected joys and opportunities. 

Remember this: Life isn’t about writing every chapter perfectly, but about embracing and enjoying the ones that matter most. You may a discover you have a few Unwritten Chapters, but instead, you’ll have plenty of fresh clean pages to allow the beauty of what is and still could be to grow and flourish.

 

If you want to learn more about living a Simple Life, just visit my website at www.thefarmwife.com/ . If you’re enjoying listening to these podcasts, please consider supporting the show by clicking the SUPPORT button in the show notes. When you do, you’ll be helping me continue bringing you fun and helpful ideas for living the Simple Life you love!

If you have questions or just want to stop in for a visit, you can do that through email at thevirtualporch@gmail.com. And be sure to subscribe – you don’t want to miss a single conversation. I'll be sitting on the porch every Monday morning waiting for your visit!

Thanks again for stopping in. I will see you next week on Living a Simple Life with a Back Porch View. And while you are waiting for the next episode, grab that glass of refreshment, pull up a rocker, and sit back for a while. It’s time to relax and enjoy.