Make Your Simple Life Fun - Join a Group!

It’s fairly easy to visit with a single friend from time to time, and occasionally a neighbor will drop by. But groups? I’m going to be honest – they are a little harder to come by. Whether they are steeped in the whirlwind of a hectic lifestyle, or comfortably settled in to living simply, most everyone is busy these days. It gets difficult to find the time to have lunch with a friend, much less to join a group. 

Still, being a part of a group has some great benefits. Whether it be for a specific function, or just an enjoyable visit, being a part of a group is a great way to celebrate a piece of living a simple life.

https://www.thefarmwife.com/how-to-start-a-social-group/

Transcript

One of the things I’m guessing you’ve figured out about me is I am all about visiting. I love sitting down with a friend for coffee or lunch. I try to keep my cookie jar filled for neighbors who drop in. And I love interacting with groups, like the one that meets at my house on the 2nd Thursday of every month to visit and work on whatever project they have going. 

Living in a rural area, it’s fairly easy to visit with a single friend from time to time, and neighbors drop in at least once a week, if not more often. But groups? I’m going to be honest – they are a little harder to come by. Whether they are steeped in the whirlwind of a hectic lifestyle, or comfortably settled in to living simply, most everyone is busy these days. It gets difficult to find the time to have lunch with a friend, much less to join a group. 

But when my friend Kathleen and I decided to meet on a regular basis, I discovered something interesting. Alona had quite a bit of time on her hands and was tired of sitting and knitting alone. Another friend was in the same position. A third friend was busy but was missing the opportunity to just relax for a bit and visit with others. The next thing I knew, my house was starting to fill up for a few hours every 2nd Thursday. I never know from one month to the next who will show up, but regardless, they will be welcomed with open arms. 

And one of the fun aspects of it is we are able to learn from each other – from how to do a new craft (Kathleen’s teaching us how to do Tunisian Crochet), gardening and cooking tips, to life lessons and prayer requests.  I look forward to the time I have to spend together with these amazing friends. 

When we think of ‘clubs’ or ‘groups’, we often think of 5 or more people. In reality, you can have a club that consists of only two people. The 2nd Thursday group started out with only two of us. The benefit was we were able to sit down, visit, work on a project, and take a break to enjoy muffins and coffee. It gave us an opportunity to catch up, discuss solutions to a problem, or just vent to each other. Then it started to grow by one person at a time. 

The point is your group may only be two people. The beauty is, you can keep it that way, or open it up to others. But if your goal is to have a larger group of people meeting, growth may be slow. And that’s okay. You aren’t in a race to see which group is the most popular. The purpose is to simply have an opportunity to gather on a regularly scheduled basis with friends. 

Let’s talk a bit about the focus of your group. Yes, you can certainly have a specific thing you do each time you meet, such as handcrafts, cooking, gardening, or other interests. But one thing you may want to think about – doing it this way can eliminate a few folks who would love to join your group, but the focus isn’t their thing. For the 2nd Thursday group, we encourage anyone who attends to bring a craft project. However, we also let people know that this isn’t a requirement. Instead, they can just come to sit and visit. I’m hoping my friend, Ayn, is able to come, as she is learning to play the dulcimer. I’m encouraging her to bring it and practice. Another friend who has been invited loves to cook. I’ve told her to bring a cookbook or a recipe she’s struggling with and discuss it with the group (we have some amazing cooks in our group, so it stands to reason she’ll get some great feedback!) Yet another friend cares for her aging mom at home, with the help of sitters. This type of lifestyle can be very isolating. We’re all hoping she gets to come, as it may help her to talk over care issues, relieve some of the stress she’s under, and refresh her mind and heart by just getting a break for an hour or two. 

Another benefit to an ‘open’ group like this is that no one feels obligated to be there, or to stay for hours. Each person can come and go as they need. There is no true structure or seating arrangements (although I’ve noticed everyone does seem to have their favorite place at the table). If we need more room, I have plenty of chairs and card tables which can be set up at a moment’s notice. If only one person shows, then there is more time to focus on a single conversation.

One of the pluses to having a less formal group is not having to put on a big spread. We tend to make it easy, and if anyone gets the urge to contribute, they do. I usually have muffins and fruit, or simple finger food, such as hot ham and cheese sliders with chips, and then offer brownies or cookies for a sweet. And there is always coffee and sweet tea in the fridge, or possibly a pitcher of lemonade. 

And there are benefits to socializing with a group of friends. It helps to prevent the feelings of isolation, builds communication and socialization skills, and can encourage creative thinking. You may also be able to gain perspective, find a support system, and combat loneliness. All of these combined can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, which may lead to other physical health problems. Plus, you may just discover a new skill you just can’t wait to learn or be able to teach a skill you have to others. 

I know the focus of this started out in a rural setting. We do seem to be just a touch more isolated, with fewer things going on around us. We don’t have museums, amusement parks, or even many restaurants where we can gather. If we want to be a part of a social group, we pretty much do it at home on an informal basis. 

But I was a city girl once upon a time. I know that, even though I was shoehorned into houses, traffic, malls, restaurants, and festivals, there were times when I felt so isolated, I could just as well be living in the middle of a 1,000-acre forest all by myself. It’s often hard to meet new people, and harder yet to become part of an established group. 

Yes, there were clubs and groups I could join. In fact, I was an active member in a garden club for several years and played Bunco with a group. But in both cases, I was invited to join. For the garden club, it was an accidental meeting with one of the members. (You know us southern women – we’ll talk to a lamp post if no one else is around. But in this case, the conversation stemmed from both of us looking over the lavender at a local nursery. A word here, a response there, and the next thing you know, we talked for almost fifteen minutes, discovered a mutual love of gardening, and an invitation was extended). As for the Bunco group, a friend at church asked if I would be a sub. Both invitations were a matter of timing. Which is good.

However, invitations like these don’t come every day. That means to join a group, we need to go in search of one. Which can create its own set of problems. Many of us feel uncomfortable just showing up to a meeting where we don’t know anyone. Will I like the group? Will they accept me? Is it something I will enjoy in the long run? And some social groups require an invitation to join, are too expensive with fees and time requirements, or meeting dates and times aren’t conducive to your schedule. 

If finding a group is an issue, you may be interested in starting your own social club. If you are, be sure to check out my post How to Start a Social Club – I’ve added the link in the show notes. And you may discover you really enjoy it. 

Do I think larger social groups are a good thing? Yes. I do. I loved every minute of my time spent with my gardening and bunco groups and met some wonderful people. If there was a group out here like that, I might just join. But sometimes larger groups in rural areas aren’t always possible.  

And that’s where forming your own group comes into play. You can set the date and time to fit with the members’ schedules. You can keep it small or limit it to however many people will fit in your house. You can be the sole gathering place or move it from member’s house to member’s house. You can put out a plate of cookies and turn the coffee pot on, or you can serve Quiche, fruit salad, and homemade brownies. You can focus on one activity or open it up to any portable craft or none at all. You can even just have coffee and a visit, if that’s all you feel like doing. 

There is a calming level of informality in a simple group, like the 2nd Thursday gang. There is laughter, discussion, curiosity, (Alona is always asking, ‘how did you do that?’), and moments of quiet reflection. And there is always a calm feeling of inclusion, warmth, and welcome, every time a member walks through the screen door and hollers, “I’m here!” 

Living a simple life isn’t all about growing your own food, canning and preserving the harvest and learning how to relax. There is also that ‘enjoy’ part – and what better way to enjoy a simple life than with a group of friends. And who knows? You may learn something new, discover a delicious recipe, or listen to some sweet music. Or – you may end up leaving to go home needing some Advil because your sides are hurting from laughing so much. 

A little fun. A bit of creativity. And time spent with friends. Now that’s what living a simple life is all about. 

If you want to learn more about living a Simple Life, just visit my website at www.thefarmwife.com/ . If you’re enjoying listening to these podcasts, please consider supporting the show by clicking the SUPPORT button in the show notes. When you do, you’ll be helping me continue bringing you fun and helpful ideas for living the Simple Life you love!

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Thanks again for stopping in. I will see you next week on Living a Simple Life with a Back Porch View. And while you are waiting for the next episode, grab that glass of refreshment, pull up a rocker, and sit back for a while. It’s time to relax and enjoy.

https://www.thefarmwife.com/how-to-start-a-social-group/