“Giving up hope is for the hopeless.” – This is a quote by Lloyd Davis (played by Bruce Boxleitner), Love’s Everlasting Courage
Winter is a slow time on the farm, where we normally catch up on all of the things we couldn’t do during the busyness of the other three seasons. We work on maintaining equipment, housework, repairs, and reorganization, but it doesn’t fill our days quite as much as other times of the year. Since sunset is earlier, we are in the house sooner, and have the opportunity to also catch up on a movie every now and then. Last week we happened to have one of those evenings.
The movie we chose to watch was Love’s Everlasting Courage. It’s a movie that is set in the early days of the settlers, and Clark Davis, along with his father, was trying to find water, in hopes of watering his fields and gardens during a severe drought. After another unsuccessful try, Clark was ready to give up, but his father wouldn’t let him. “Giving up hope is for the hopeless,” he responded.
I cannot tell you how much that resonated with me. There are times we have worked weeks on end, from before daylight to after dark, and still weren’t able to fix or resolve a problem. Every day, as I work outside, I see an endless list of things to be done. Our barn is a prime example.
It was originally ordered from Sears back in the late 50s or early 60s and shipped as a kit. The walls are painted plywood, the roof is tin, and it’s held up with wooden posts. Unfortunately, some of the plywood has corners that have rotted away and the sides at ground level are ragged and rotting from sitting in water during heavy rainstorms. When it is pouring outside, I still need a raincoat inside the barn, as the holes in the tin roof are many. Although we have replaced the tin on the milking side, we still have to walk across boards that are spanning three feet of mud to get to the dry area where we milk, as the runoff seems to prefer that area, instead of in the channel we dug to divert it.
But it doesn’t stop with the barn. Every day we wake up, we find a new set of problems, regardless of the season.
There are three pens in the middle pasture that are fenced and cross-fenced and used for rotating the cows. In one, a huge Bull Pine died, and is shedding limbs left and right. All of that needs to be cleared out and burned. And then we need to tackle the fences. The money that will take is enough to choke a cow.
My garden? It is a continual work in progress, regardless of the season. It doesn’t matter that I am out there daily in the spring and summer with a hoe, the pigweed seems to multiply overnight. In the winter, the freezing temperatures threaten to destroy all the work in the greenhouse in one fell swoop – no matter what heating system we use; a bull calf broke his leg trying to get out of the hay ring; all of our breeding cows haven’t ‘taken’ (which is what we call it when they are actually bred); the dogs killed another chicken – and then thought it would be a good idea to play with a skunk; the lack of summer rain affects the amount of hay we have, lessening our income and ability to feed our cows through the winter; and the septic tank fills up (sometimes with a baby calf – which is a whole ‘nother story).
The list of frustrations is long and daunting. Too many times I have just fallen to my knees, muscles aching, sweat pouring, and tears flowing, overwhelmed with the long list of needs and the unfortunate fact that the balance in our checkbook leans dangerously close to the red.
We all may not have a farm with a barn threatening to collapse, but we do have problems and setbacks. Some just leave us confused and trying to scrounge around for a solution. The lack of finances may leave us in limbo with a resolution, at least until we can save enough to fix what’s broken or win the lottery – and we all know the dismal odds on that source of income.
Other things we have no control over, no matter how much we wish we did. In the case of illness, we are in the hands of the doctors. In the case of losing a job, we are at the mercy of the job market. Often times, our issues require waiting, and in those cases, we think of time as our enemy, not our friend.
But even in the midst of all that is falling apart around us, we need to learn the art of seeing through the storms to find the rainbow. It’s there, I promise. We just need to find patience to wait until the clouds clear. It’s called having hope.
No matter how bad things get, there is still hope. It may be buried deep within us, but it’s there. We still have the ability to step away from the sheer mountain of things that threaten hopelessness to see the other side. We know we can’t give up, or give in. We may have to shift gears, choose the other fork in the road, or bulldoze through the middle, but know in your heart there is always a way around the problems. We just have to stop. Take a deep breath. Search for the successes, and lean on God and His timing.
And once you have done that, you may find that a bit of peace has covered over the encroaching hopelessness, and you can get back up, take another step, and try again.
My barn is at least still standing. My garden still produces enough to feed us through the winter. There are enough plants in the greenhouse for us, even if there aren’t enough to sell. The cows are healthy, and the chickens produce enough eggs to hatch out another batch. I can always give the dogs a bath, even if they think it’s cruel and unusual punishment, as they seem to like smelling like a skunk.
And every once in a while, I still get the added blessing of a rainbow. I just hope this rainbow means God is working toward getting us a new barn.
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